Being a working mom is like playing an endless game of Tetris—just when you think you’ve got everything perfectly lined up, another responsibility drops in out of nowhere. Between work meetings, school drop-offs, and keeping tiny humans alive, maintaining friendships can feel like one more thing on an already overflowing to-do list.
But let’s be real—good friends keep us sane. They’re the ones who remind us that we’re more than just snack dispensers and email senders. Studies even show that strong social connections can improve mental health and reduce stress (Mayo Clinic).
Learning how to keep friendships after having kids isn’t always easy, especially when you are juggling work and all of the responsibilities at home. I’ve found that I have to be really intentional about making time with friends a priority. Here are 8 ways to stay connected without adding extra stress to your plate.
1. Schedule Friend Dates Like You Schedule Work Meetings
If it’s not on the calendar, it’s not happening. Block out time for a coffee date, a walk, or even a 15-minute catch-up call. Treat it like a non-negotiable appointment—because friendships deserve that level of priority, too. When meeting in person isn’t possible, I schedule catch-up phone calls with a friend while we both walk or grab a cup of coffee. This helps me maintain my work-life balance and my friendships..
Use scheduling apps like Google Calendar or Doodle to make it easy to coordinate plans. Even a standing monthly lunch date can go a long way in keeping friendships alive. I try to schedule at least one dinner date or happy hour with a friend each month. It might seem like much, but that time helps me recharge and feel a little more connected.
2. Embrace the Power of Voice Memos
Texting can feel like another chore and, most of the time, my friends and I aren’t free to talk at the same time for a phone call. Voice memos are the perfect middle ground. They let you spill your thoughts without the pressure of an immediate response—plus, hearing a friend’s voice can be a mood booster in itself.
Apps like WhatsApp or iMessage make it easy to send quick voice updates. My favorite app to use is Voxer. I like that it’s easy to use and includes options to send texts and pictures along with the voice memos. Keeping this separate from my text messages also keeps the messages with friends away from the never-ending texts that come throughout the day. I have a friend that I haven’t seen in years but I still feel connected since we send messages at least once a week to stay in touch.
3. Create a Group Chat for Easy Check-Ins
A simple “Thinking of you!” or a funny meme in a group chat can keep friendships alive, even when life is busy. While texting is not my preferred way to stay connected to individuals, I’ve found that group chats for some of my friend groups are an easy way to stay connected. I don’t feel obligated to respond to every message, and love reading through all of the comments when I get a little downtime. It’s a low-effort, high-impact way to stay in each other’s lives without needing a huge time commitment.
Consider creating different types of group chats:
- Mom Support – I created a group chat with some fellow moms who were at the same stage of life that I’m in. We have fun sharing stories about our kids and other “mom life” things.
- Accountability – Remind each other to stick to habits or work toward a goal. One of my colleagues created a group to help us remind each other to move throughout the day (we all work from home). Those messages inspired me to stick to my goal while also helping me feel connected to other people during the work day.
- Weekend Plans Crew – We have a huge group chat with our extended circle of friends. People are constantly dropping ideas for spontaneous meet-ups. I don’t always attend, but it’s nice to know that there’s always an invite out there when I get the chance.
- Work Friends – I have two amazing friends at work that are in the same position that I’m in. We have a group chat that we use daily to keep ourselves sane with things seem a little crazy “at the office.” Even though we are each working at home, it makes it feel a little more like stopping by someone’s desk at the office to chat.
4. Combine Social Time with Everyday Tasks
Grocery shopping? Folding laundry? Walking the dog? Invite a friend to join in (virtually or in person). Catching up while tackling everyday tasks makes it easier to fit connection into your already packed schedule. One of my favorite ways to do this is to meal prep together. Baking cookies for the holidays or making a big pan of lasagna allows for time to connect while also making meals for our families. I like to make one meal to eat that night and some others to freeze for another day.
If your friends aren’t close, try a “walk-and-talk” phone call or a co-working virtual session where you both tackle chores while chatting. Even if you’re in different states, just knowing someone else is folding laundry at the same time can make it more fun!
5. Start a Shared Tradition
Find something small but meaningful to do together.
- Monthly Book Swap – Read the same book or just exchange favorites.
- Self-Care Sunday Check-In – Send each other a message about what you’re doing for YOU.
- Podcast Club – Listen to the same episode and discuss (because who has time for a full book club?).
A group of friends and I created a Bachelor and wine night where we would meet every week to watch the latest episode and catch up. While our schedules no longer allow for weekly meet-ups, we still like to create annual or monthly events to look forward to. Traditions create easy, built-in ways to stay connected without requiring extra planning.
6. Give Yourself Grace When Life Gets Busy
Sometimes, weeks (or months) fly by before you realize you haven’t checked in. Instead of feeling guilty, just reach out when you can. If you’re stressed about how to keep friendships alive at this stage in your life, remember that your friends are often just as busy and will understand.
A simple “Hey, I miss you!” goes a long way. True friendships don’t require constant upkeep—they’re built on mutual understanding. If you’re both in a chaotic season, agree to check in when you can without pressure or guilt.
7. Involve Your Kids Instead of Waiting for Alone Time
If waiting for the perfect, kid-free moment to connect is holding you back, bring your kids along!
- Playdates with a Purpose – Meet up at a park and chat while the kids play. A fellow mom created a weekly park meetup one summer to help the kids stay connected while they were on summer break. Everyone knew the time and the place and we all came when we were available. I loved that it was an open invitation without any pressure.
- Mom-and-Kid Walks – Strap the little ones in the stroller and catch up while walking. As kids get older, find a place where they can safely ride bikes or scooters while the adults can walk and catch up.
- Family-Friendly Dinner Nights – Our friend group created monthly dinner nights. Each month, one family hosts and makes the main course. All of the other families come and bring a side dish or dessert. We spend the evening together enjoying a meal while the kids all get to play. Rotating the host takes the pressure off of one person and each person bringing a dish lightens the overall load.
This way, you stay connected without feeling like you have to carve out “extra” time just for socializing.
8. Be Honest About What You Need
If you’re overwhelmed, say so. If you need support, ask for it. The best friendships are built on honesty.
Let your friends know when you’re struggling, and lean on each other—it’s what friendships are for. Vulnerability creates deeper connections and reminds you that you’re not alone in the chaos of motherhood.
Friendship Looks Different in Every Season
Friendships evolve, and that’s okay. What matters most is that we keep showing up for each other in the ways we can—whether that’s a five-minute text exchange or a long-overdue coffee date.
So, don’t let friendships fall to the bottom of the priority list. A little effort goes a long way, and trust me, keeping your friends close makes the chaos of life so much more fun.
What’s your favorite way to stay connected with friends? Drop a comment and share your best tips!
Voice memos scare me, but now that I think about it.. I’d LOVE it if my friends sent me voice memos! What a good (EASY) idea!